VogelCam

Vegetables are My Food’s Food!

About 8 months ago, I went to my doctor about some heart palpitations. He did a full check and the only thing he found was high cholesterol. My score was around 196, which is “too Goddamn high” to use my doctor’s exact words, and he said that I needed to stop eating fatty animals or I would have a “cardiac event” by the age of 50. He gave me two options: go on cholesterol drugs, or become a vegetarian.

Consequently, I became a vegetarian. After 3 months, I had lost a little weight, but only felt slightly better. I had my cholesterol checked and it only went down by a few points. I Still had the heart palpitations, and I was miserable because I really missed eating meat. Disappointed, I relapsed back to my normal eating for about two months.

Then I read something about how the fat from animals can actually lower your bad cholesterol, and that high cholesterol can be a result of eating vegetables! So I decided as an experiment to become the opposite of a vegetarian: I am now a “strict carnivore.” That is, I only eat it if it came from an animal. So, for the last three months, I’ve been eating eggs and bacon fried in butter for breakfast and steaks and pot roasts and pork chops for lunch and dinner. Of course, I’m perfectly content to eat this way (I love bacon!), but I was really worried about how this would affect my cholesterol. Those words, “cardiac event” keep ringing in my ears. So last week, I had my cholesterol checked again.

Below is a voice message from my Doctor.

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I’ve never heard my docotor this happy before! This is the same man who took the Lord’s name in vain when discussing cholesterol, now he’s practically giddy. I’m almost afraid to tell him that I owe it all to bacon and butter! On top of it all, I’ve lost weight, I feel better, and I don’t have the heart palpitations.